DAYS LATER

Dr. Bartholomew  is the most caring ,wonderful doctor anyone could wish to have. However, these words were far from my lips the evening he came into my room to speak with Stephan and I. The biopsy results were back and he was now not sure if I had cancer or not. The results were negative.

To be diagnosed with cancer is a shock to the system, to be then told you do not have cancer is an even bigger shock. It is a bit like someone telling you a close friend has died , only then to see him walk into a room and everyone shouts ‘April Fools’

Stephan stood up from his chair and grabbed the end of the bed, his knuckles white and in a rage…I cannot remember ever seeing him so angry. For two weeks we had lived with the idea I had cancer and now we were being told I had not.. ‘What…What’ he bellowed.

Dr.Bartholome said ‘I just don’t know , theres something there , theres something there. I want Dani to do a PET-CT Scan.

I think Dr.B. realised we all needed ‘ time out’ and suggested I go home for a few days, as even for the most urgent of cases, there is a waiting list.

It was good to be home, even though I felt weak, I loved having all of my things around me once more and to sleep in my own bed.
A couple of days later I received a call ,an appointment had been made for me the following Tuesday .. After ,I must return to the hospital.

Pet-CT Scan …Radioactive sugar molecules are injected into the body. Cancer cells absorb sugar more quickly than normal cells, so they ‘light up’ on the images created by the PET Scanner
I was told to drink plenty of water before my appointment, this for me was impossible, what ever I had growing in my stomach made drinking water impossible. I received for one hour a saline drip to hydrate my body,but this was not as effective as drinking a large amount of water.

Once inside the Scanner the molecules began to take effect and without my tissues full of water my bones started to burn. My body was on fire but I knew how important this scan was, I dare not move, who knows how long I may have to wait for another appointment. I thought this must be what it is like to be cooked in a microwave.

Back in the hospital and the results had arrived, apart from some shadows, nothing, all negative. Dr.B. wanted the shadows investigated so more tests and more biopsies again results showing all negative. There was nothing to indicate I had cancer.

However, Dr.B. was like a dog with a bone. He called in the top surgeon who examined me and said ‘mmmm open her up’ were is exact words. I have since learnt surgeons are like machines , they have no time for peoples emotional state.

I was scheduled for surgery on November 8th 2008. It had taken two months and my case was a mystery to all doctors involved. They had no idea what was wrong with me. We were back to square one.

The evening before my operation are asked Dr.B if I had cancer or not. His answer ‘I dont know .I just dont know Dani ,I have already said too much’ he squeezed my hand tightly and left.

Soon very soon I would know.